your lips are moving (but I can't hear a thing)
by MC-GAR-IL
Summary: "Graduation is in two weeks." She says off handedly but all you hear is Yō is leaving in two weeks.


The moment the words left her lips it felt as if you were suddenly submerged underwater.

"Can you believe it Chika-chan? I actually got scouted by one of the top diving teams in the country!"

Yō's eyes sparkled under the setting sun and her lips were pulled back in the biggest smile you've ever seen grace her face. For a moment you thought of leaning over and kissing her and praying that some of that excitement would transfer over to you.

Your face was twisted in a happy mask that didn't match the sinking feeling that was slowly starting to grow in your stomach.

"I'm so proud of you Yō-chan! I always knew you were the best." You say, and even though that was true each word weighed heavy as it passed your tongue.

Yō flushes at the praise a light pink color that dusted her cheeks but her smile did not waver, and not for the first time you are struck by how beautiful she is.

The rest of the walk home she continued to gush about how amazing the schools diving program is and all the famous people that had went there but you didn't hear any of it.

The only thing you could hear was the fact that Yō was going to leave you.

.

.

.

The news spread quickly through your friend group and plans for a celebratory party were made.

They cleaned up the school idol club room, rearranged the furniture, blew up balloons and put other decorative knickknacks around the room.

Everyone, sans Dia and Mari who were off at college and saddled down with classes and upcoming projects they had to complete, filed in and the festivities begun.

The moment Yoshiko, Hanamaru, and Ruby set their eyes on Yō the brunette was swept up in a hug. Yō's laughter fills the room as she does her best to hug the now second years all at once.

Kanan walks over and playfully breaks up the huddle saying it was her turn for a hug.

A laugh makes its way past your lips as you watch Yoshiko trying to convince Yō to put on a cape she had brought along. As they go back and forth the brunette doesn't notice that Hanamaru was casually placing two party hats on her head.

Finally Yō breaks down and allows Yoshiko to do as she pleases causing the younger girl to cheer in victory while securing the cape to Yō's clothes. Yō looks in your direction and rolls her eyes light heartedly when you lock gazes and you just shrug and give her a half grin.

As the party swings into full gear you unconsciously keep your distance from your best friend, always finding an excuse to avoid having any one on one time with her. When you guys run out of drinks you volunteer to run to the vending machine and buy some more, Yō offers to go with you and help you carry them but you brush off her request and head out the door. As you start your trek down the hall you hear a second pair of footsteps following behind you.

Turning on your heel you expect to see Yō behind you but a mix of relief and disappointment fills you when you see Riko standing there.

"Oh Riko-chan I didn't expect you to come along."

She raises an eye-brow at you and just stares for a bit. You squirm in place feeling like you were being put under a microscope. And then she smiles, one of her usual small and reserved smiles and begins to walk past you.

"Well no matter how you look at it you can't carry all the drinks by yourself. Besides I bet you already forgot everyone's order."

"Hey that's mean Riko-chan." You pout. But truthfully she was right; you were too busy trying to get out of the room as fast as possible to really hear what everyone had asked for.

You both continue your journey in silence. Once you make it to the vending machine Riko holds out her hand silently requesting that you hand over the money everyone had given you. Complying without a fuss you let her handle the machine.

"It's pretty amazing huh. A scout really came all the way out here just to see Yō-chan."

You smile brightly as she hands you the first drink. "Of course they did, Yō-chan is amazing. Always has been."

Riko nods as she inserts the coins for the next drink.

"I'm really happy for her but it's also kind of bittersweet."

You swallow, "What do you mean Riko-chan?"

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and gives you a look before handing the next drink off to you.

"It's bittersweet because she's going away."

That uncomfortable sinking feeling is back and feels like it's grown in size.

"But that's to be expected right? Graduating usually means you'll go off to college somewhere away from home. Mari-san and Dia-san did, and even you're gonna be going to a college in Tokyo Riko-chan."

"True," Riko nods while turning her gaze back to the vending machine, "But even so we're not going to be that far away from each other. Yō-chan on the other hand…" she slowly presses down on one of the buttons, "She's going to halfway across the country."

…

The _thump_ of the can falling in the machine rings out in the silence that now enveloped the hallway. You cast your eyes downward watching your shoes as you scuff them against the linoleum floor. You feel the weight of the can Riko puts in your arms weigh you down a little more. Her hands linger for a moment before sliding down and cover your chilled ones. You didn't even notice you're hands were shaking until you felt her firm grip steady them.

You look up into Riko's comforting gaze and you feel your lower lip tremble.

"It's okay to be afraid. She's your best friend and you two haven't been separated before." She brings her hand up to cup your face and brushes her thumb against your cheek, "But wouldn't it be silly to start distancing yourself now because of fears ad what-ifs?"

Your shoulders shudder as you choke back the sadness that's been welling up inside you since Yō told you she was going to be leaving.

"When did you start giving out the heartfelt speeches?"

"I guess I picked up a thing or two from you over the years."

You both finish gathering the drinks in silence. When you make it back to the club room you see everyone huddled around the computer. Peering over the group you see Mari and Dia on the screen, apparently they were able to Skype for a few minutes and wanted to send their congratulations.

The rest of the party went off without a hitch and you stuck close to Yō for the rest of the night. Even when it was time to go home you held onto her hand the whole ride back. Your heart thudded painfully in your chest when you hugged her as your stop approached, but the smile she shot your way soothed the ache in your chest.

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Graduation was fast approaching. You find yourself at Kanan's shop sipping on iced tea during a warm spring day. A frown was etched on your features as you slumped in your seat. Recently Yō's practices ran so long that you and Riko ended up going home ahead of her, she even started going into school earlier some days to get some extra practice in.

You missed her. She hasn't even left yet but your time with her has already started to disappear.

Another sighs escapes your lips.

"Have you told her yet?"

You turn and watch as Kanan places some air tanks on the deck with a small grunt.

"Told her what?"

She gives you a look that says 'you know what' before making her way over to the seat across from you. Today was a slow day so she could afford a little break.

Unzipping her wet suit Kanan stretches her arms above her head and flashes you her usual carefree smile. You try to match it but it felt like the happy upturn of your lips didn't fit on your face.

"Graduation is in two weeks." She says off handedly but all you hear is _Yō is leaving in two weeks._

You nod solemnly too lost in your own thoughts.

"It's hard isn't it? Knowing that soon you're going to be separated from the people you care the most about." You look up and Kanan is staring off at the sea a distant expression on her face. You feel bad for taking comfort in the fact that someone was in the same boat as you.

"Mari-san and Dia-san are coming back to Uchiura for break right?"

Kanan bites her bottom lip and nods as a soft smile pulls at her mouth.

"They are."

You let silence fall over the both of you as you swallow back the sudden flare of jealousy you felt spike up inside you.

"Chika…" Kanan begins but you cut her off.

"It won't be too bad. I mean Dian-san, Mari-san, and Riko-chan aren't too far away and we can still see each other during breaks. You and I are going to be at the same school and Yoshiko-chan, Ruby-chan, and Hanamaru-chan are still going to be at Uranohoshi for another year."

"True," Kanan pins you with a serious look, "But they aren't Yō right?"

You bite your lip, "Yō-chan… we can still text and call and do video calls."

"Are you really okay with leaving it like that?"

 _No,_ "Yes." You swallow. "Yō-chan has it the hardest; she's going to be so far away from all her friends. I shouldn't burden her with something else that she can't do anything about."

"Are you assuming she doesn't feel the same way?"

Your heart thuds slowly.

"If you don't tell her you're going to regret it every day." Kanan looks at you with knowing eyes.

"I just want to do what's best for her."

Kanan scoffs, "I said the same thing to myself back when I was a first year." Kanan softens her gaze when she sees the insecurity swirling in your eyes. Reaching across the table she places her hand over yours.

"Look just talk to her; at least tell her how you feel about her leaving."

Kanan stands up walking back to the store, but before she walks past the threshold she pauses, "Although I think you should still tell her you love her." She says without turning around to look at you.

.

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A week before graduation you have a bad dream.

…

You're back in middle school and Yō was standing there disappointed frown on her lips and white club form in her hands. She waves at you as she starts to walk away. Fear climbs up the back of your throat and you reach out to grab her hand but you go right through her. Just as you wanted to start running after her you feel a weight settle against your back.

Turning your head you recognize Yō's brunette locks that tickled your cheek. The familiar scent of chlorine wafted from her hair and clamed your pounding heart. Blindly reaching back you grab her hand and entwine your fingers. She squeezes your palm before removing her weight from you. You both turn around and face each other. You notice that now she's wearing her high school uniform and is holding another paper in her hand.

When she shows you the paper with a smile on her face you recognize it as the School Idol Club form, your lips quirk up in a smile from the happy memory. You see her lips move but no sound makes it to your ears. Yō's form starts to fade away again, and like last time you try to reach out to her before she disappears but it's no use. The paper she was holding flutters lifelessly into a nearby puddle. Bending down you pick up the sodden paper and your hear clenches when you notice Yō's name has disappeared from it. Your grip on the fragile paper tightens causing to it fall apart.

Getting up you start to walk away with your head hung and hands in your pocket. The air around you becomes chilled and dry. The sun falls from the sky leaving you to navigate the path using the sparse streetlights. As you turn a corner laughter brings you out of your funk. Looking up your heart flutters in your chest as you see Yō standing there with a group of people wearing making jackets. She was taller and her hair longer but you'd recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

Running towards her you start to call out to her, "Yō-chan! Hey Yō-chan, over here!"

The groups' laughter pauses and Yō's attention falls on you. She looks at you with confused eyes before saying something to the group and then starting to walk away.

"Yō-chan, wait!" You reach out and this time your hand actually makes contact with her shoulder only for her to shrug your touch off. She looks at you with narrowed eyes and says something you can't make out before walking away with the group yet again.

…

You wake up in a cold sweat with wet cheeks and a heavy heart. Blindly reaching for your phone you unlock it and pull up your texts with Yō. For a moment you hesitate, you know Yō had another late practice today and you didn't want to wake her but you always texted her when you couldn't sleep.

After another moment of hesitation your fingers fly across the keyboard and you hit send. You stare at the screen with baited breath for a long while hoping to receive a reply, but after 20 minutes you phone alerted you that the battery was dying and you face the fact that you weren't getting a reply tonight.

Sighing you plug your phone in and stare at the ceiling. Knowing you weren't going to fall back to sleep anytime soon you get up to retrieve your computer from the table.

Maybe listening to some PV's would make you feel better.

…

Thirty minutes into the live you found your phone buzz on your nightstand. You quickly get up heart hammering in your chest and answer without even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey Chika-chan," Yō's voice crackles through the receiver, "Could you do me a favor and let me in, it's kind of chilly outside."

You throw your phone onto your bed without ending the call and head downstairs as fast and quietly as you could. As soon as you open the door you pull Yō in and hug her.

"You didn't have to come over." You say voice muffled by the fabric of Yō's shirt.

"It's fine. I missed seeing your face anyway so I'm using your bad dream as excuse just to see you actually. And if you think about it this is like payback for the time you biked to my house."

You laugh and grab her hand pulling her along as you make your way back to your room. Once inside you let go of her hand and move your computer off of your bed and plug your phone back in after turning it off. Yō makes her way over to your dresser and pulls out an extra pair of PJ's that she kept at your house and changes out of her sweaty clothes.

You stare unabashedly at her smooth back and toned legs confident that the darkness would hide your wandering gaze and tinted cheeks.

Once Yō was done pulling on her clothes she ran a hand through her hair and pulled her glasses out of the pocket of her sweater placing them on the bedside table. As soon as she was in range you pull her down onto the bed and wrap an arm around her waist.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Yō asks while find a comfortable position on the bed and covering the both of you. You just shake your head in the negative and snuggle in closer.

Yō doesn't press you for information and instead she kisses the crown of your hair and suddenly your eight years old again and just waking up from a nightmare during a sleepover. But Yō was there, and she would crawl into your bed and hold you close and gently stoke your back while telling you all the fun things she wanted the two of you to do together the next day until your tears had stopped and you were lulled into a peaceful sleep.

But now you you're both older and she was still here to hold you and you were so in love with her it almost hurt. But Yō was going to leave soon and wouldn't be there. She was leaving, going off to a brighter future that you knew you didn't fit into.

Your grip tightens on her hips and you burrow further into the crook of her neck. Your press gently against the warm flesh of her neck and you can feel her pulse slowly pump under your lips.

"Yō-chan?"

"Hmm?"

 _I don't want you to leave me_ "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah?"

"Of course."

"Hey Chika-chan, can I tell you a secret?"

"Mhmm."

"For a while I thought about going to my coach and telling them I didn't want the scholarship."

You pull back and look down at Yō with wide eyes.

"What, why?"

"Because I realized that I was going to be leaving you."

Something inside you melts and you settle back down next to Yō.

"Yō you dummy, why would that matter?"

She shrugs and hugs you again.

"You're my best friend and I love you. We've always been together and now we're going to be separated. But this is my dream you know, plus I knew I would have to deal with your wrath if I tried to run away from this."

You giggle and lightly shove her shoulder.

"True, I would have given you my strongest Chikacchi monster punch." You both smile and dissolve into laughter. Once that dies down you both just stare at each other. Leaning in quickly you press a kiss against Yō's cheek and pull back embarrassed.

"I love you too Yō-chan"

 _More than I can express._

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.

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It was five a.m. on graduation day and you were at the airport with Kanan, Yō, and Mrs. Watanabe. The rest of your friends had already said their goodbye's the night before when you had all gathered on the roof of your school to watch the sunset.

Too tired to stand up straight you were currently resting your head on Yō's shoulder and holding onto her arm. Mrs. Watanabe was busy prattling off the details of Yō's flight, tips for the ride over, and what she should do once she made it on campus. Kanan was standing next to you sending glances in your direction as if she was waiting for you to start sobbing in the middle of the airport.

When Mrs. Watanabe went to go check on the flight the three of you fell into easy conversation filled with teasing and reminiscing on silly stories from their childhood. You were glad that Kanan was directing the conversation because you really didn't have the energy to be your usual loud self.

When you guys lapse into silence Yō nudges you and leans down to whisper in your ear.

"Hey Chika-chan you ok?"

"Hmm, yeah I'm fine."

"Are you sure, you seem a little out of it."

"It's nothing; I'm just a little tired is all."

Yō pouts at you but accepts your explanation.

All too soon Yō's flight was called and you all stood up to say you last farewells.

Mrs. Watanabe goes first tears already in her eyes and hugs her daughter.

"Mom" Yō whines in mock protest but hugs her mother tightly.

"Make sure you call me when you land ok?"

"Of course"

"I love you have a safe flight."

"Love you too mom."

Mrs. Watanabe kisses Yō on the forehead and steps back.

Kanan approaches next and instantly ruffles Yō's hair.

"Ya know growing up with you and Chika always felt like having two rowdy little sisters. But now it's gonna feel so quiet around here."

"Hmm I don't know about that, I mean you still have Yoshiko around to make your day more… lively."

Kanan chuckles, "Yeah I guess you're right. But it won't be the same." They both smile at each other before going in for a hug.

"Do your best out there. Everyone's rooting for you."

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm gonna be working really hard every day. After all when I come back I'm gonna show you the fruits of my labor when I finally beat you in a race."

"I'm holding you to that."

When they break apart Yō's eyes land on you and suddenly your eyes sting and you have to swallow thickly to stop the oncoming tears. Clearing your throat you march up to Yō and give her a stern look.

"Ok Yō-chan you gotta make sure you takes lots and lots of pictures while you're there. Also you have to make sure to call me whenever you can otherwise I'll start saving up monster punches to give you when you visit."

"Oh please spare me Chika-sama, I promise to do my best."

"And you gotta promise me something."

"Anything."

"You gotta promise that you won't go and find a new best friend okay?"

"Chika-chan…"

"I'm serious, you gotta pinky swear on it."

You hold up your pinky and Yō hooks it with her own.

"I promise. Besides, no one could ever replace you Chika-chan; you're too special to me."

Lower lip trembling and too overcome with emotion you dive into Yō's arms.

"I love you Yō-chan"

"I love you too Chika-chan"

Yō's flight is called again and you both reluctantly break apart. The brunette shrugs the strap of her backpack higher on her shoulder and sends a wobbly smile to everyone. She starts to walk away and you feel a piece of you leaving with her.

Before she's totally out of sight you call out to her and salute.

"Don't let me down Captain Yō."

She responds with a salute of her own.

"I wouldn't dream of it first mate Chika."

You all stick around and watch as the plane takes off and slowly disappears behind the grey clouds. You hold yourself together until you're back in the car and staring up at the sky through the window. You don't even realize that you're crying until Kanan brushes a tear away with an understanding look on her face.

Unable to stop yourself you bury your face in her chest and let you shoulders shake with silent sobs that wrack you body. Somewhere above you you're sure Kanan is saying something but your ears are ring too loud for you to hear.

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 **MC:** hey there guys, I know what your thinking, "what's going on I thought you were fluff af?" and that's true but y'all keep writing angsty (sometimes onesided) You in ur chikayou stories so I got to thinking what does a pining Chika look like? and here we are. I noticed that Kanan and Chika are really similar in the way they handle situations in which someone they care about have opportunities they want them to chase, so consider this version 1 of angst!Chika


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